Regret?

Extra lessons in school have started and ended today.
I really feel tight inside now. I know that the O's are going to be in 3 months time , I feel the need to work hard. But I don't act the way I should be now. I'm in contradiction with myself.
My heart doesn't go with my mind so does my body.
I'm a messed up teenager with an unhealthy lifestyle and a bleak future.
Hopefully, I could change that myself.